Very Zen today...

Okay, so lately I think that God may be trying to teach me to enjoy the present moment more. Yes, Mother God and I are super crazy tight like Benson and Stabler (think more old school Benson and Stabler). Anyway, it’s come to my attention that I have not been enjoying the present moment…gasp! My problem isn’t bills and cleaning or walking the dog (I actually loooove paying bills and cleaning and walking the dog). My problem is the need to always be doing more.
But, Naomi, you do so many awesome things! I know, right. But seriously…if it’s a youth group event then I think about the other teens in the world. If I’m doing well in school, then I think about how I wish I was doing well at a real big girl job, and so on and so on.
This is normally not a big deal but lately I feel Mother God beginning to whisper…strike that…yell and scream in my ear. I have all these incredible things happening and I just keep thinking how it will help me in the future. The future is cool to think about, but forgetting that these moments full of lessons are happening now is so lame. Take note that I’m not lame but doing that is in fact lame. I’m still cool, no worries. A good example. I have this crazy cool balcony and these crazy cute, comfy chairs. I NEVER sit on them! I’m always doing something! It may not seem like a big deal, but if I sat in a chair and enjoyed peace and quiet for a while, I really think that I would be calmer. I really think that my head would feel screwed on a little tighter instead of crap spilling out of it all day (I am so imaginative sometimes).
Oprah has this saying that when the universe is trying to convey a message to you, that it gives a whisper…then a shout…then a push…then a brick wall…then the brick wall falls on top of you. In other words, the goal is to be tuned into yourself enough to hear the damn whisper and you know, avoid the brick wall.
So I want to hear the whisper. If you want to know how, I have no answers. I’m just going to try feeling a little bit more. I have a friend/mentor who recently mentioned to me in a conversation that she really recognizes and freely feels an emotion when it comes. A good example is sadness. We’re pretty much trained not to feel sadness and to cover it up with something else such as food, shopping, working, etc. Instead the idea is to actually recognize that you’re feeling sadness and this is what it feels like. How cool is that? You’re embracing the feeling rather than denying it and digging an even deeper hole.
This conversation came days after watching an Oprah episode with the same message. And to top it off, lately I’ve been rushing through everything instead of being my silly fun self. So, I’m taking my whisper to heart and listening. Oh, crap. I’ll bet that means tonight I have to actually feel the pain as I write my English paper…damn it.