Count This As Saturday's Post...

I wrote this really cool piece and wanted to share so consider this saturday : )

What Men Can Do
When I tell people I am a rape survivor, I usually get a number of messed up questions requiring me to prove that my rape was traumatic enough through the eyes of others. Not only is this degrading and inhuman, but it also further supports society’s notion that unless you were a virgin beaten to death by a stranger, your rape doesn’t count.
Perhaps, this is why when the one night this did not happen; it remains burned in my consciousness forever.
I was the guest at a going away party for new college graduates. This was a fairly new group of friends and I was introduced to several new people while we all drank copious amounts of alcohol. There was dancing, laughter, and good conversation. Some point during this fun filled evening, I began speaking about the work I do with other survivors of rape in the community with two men. Both were extremely intoxicated while I was completely sober.
One of the men placed his hands over his mouth quite dramatically and asked slowly, “Are you a survivor?”
I laughed and answered that yes, I was.
With his hands still covering his mouth, he said, “Men shouldn’t do that. Men are very bad.”
The other man, whom I knew, also clasped his hands together and nodded his agreement silently. Together they stood so intensely with this information. And neither one asked me how I knew the guy or what I was wearing. They didn’t laugh at me or roll their eyes. They didn’t ask if he used his penis or something else to penetrate me or why I didn’t punch the guy. They didn’t make me explain all the intimate details or even how long ago it was.
Instead, they were wonderful. And while their actions were at times humorous, they provided me with a safe space that night at a party. Three years ago at a party, I was assaulted. This year, at a party, I was safe. These men do not know that. But they do know love.
For all the men in my life who have struggled with the right words or felt helpless as they hear stories of survivors, this is what men can do.