Dating

In my effort to enjoy today's first snow fall, I read my Kindle and watched Say Yes to the Dress. During my marathon of white fluffy dresses (and a super awkward mother daughter team discussing purity), I started hearing a lot of "first date" stories by the brides. If this were a first date story competition...I would get the gold medal and then some.

I once went out with a guy who attempted to give me an IQ test before going forward with the date. After passing the test (I am super competitive), I said extremely unkind things and I do believe some choice words were used.

I also was set up with a "Christian" guy on a blind date. He was a douche bag and we ended up in a screaming match at Applebees where I possibly said, "McCain is the anti-Christ" (I am sooooo darling).

In an attempt to set me up with a youth pastor, a friend brought me to an event to pre-meet the guy. He asked if I was a republican and I answered by doing my Sarah Palin impersonation. We didn't go on the date and he is currently married to a republican.

Why do I share these stories? Mainly to laugh but also because dating as a feminist (especially when you are as *cough* delightful as let's say I am) can be pretty tough. I honestly think it's so hard because you want to believe in yourself and love yourself at the same time you're bombarded with messages saying without a man you're worthless (remember lesbians don't exist on Valentine's Day). It's a lot of bullshit. But my hero, Jessica Valenti, describes feminist dating in a really cool way. In her book, Full Frontal Feminism, she says feminism gives you a better chance to find a great relationship because it let's "you get past the bullshit". And it really does.

Because when you love yourself, you find way better partners. And while I went through all those awful first dates, I've also met some pretty bad ass guys that I'm still good friends with today. Of course there's also a really special first date I remember but y'all can't hear about it because some things are special and private to me : ).

During this holiday season, not having a significant other can be rough. Hell, last year I was dumped the day after Thanksgiving. Talk about fun times. Moral of the story, you ask? Don't worry! Because feminism allows you to find a super cool partner and until then you can begin the never ending journey of falling in love with yourself. Then, you can be on Say Yes to the Dress telling the camera that you are totally in love with a guy/lady/gal/pal/boy toy (you get the drift) but that you also have a lot of great things and people in your life. Or you can have a completely full, awesome life as a single gal or guy. And once again, feminism saves the day!