I'm Getting Married

I'm getting married to a super awesome guy named Aaron. So far, I've received so many congratulations along with some "huh?" responses. Trust me, it's nutso to think I'm getting married. I've never been the little girl dreaming of her wedding (in kindergarten all the girls dressed as brides and I went as a pumpkin). And the older I got, the more unfair it was to think that not everyone can be married (I know it's almost 2012 and we're STILL talking about this) so for me, I didn't want to "legally staple" myself to someone. If not everyone can do it and most women give up autonomy (I LIKE my last name) then why go there?

I also had MANY bad experiences with weddings as I got older. I know women who openly pressured men into proposing (there are societal reasons for this behavior) and went crazy for a diamond ring. I watched families go through unnecessary stress and go through wedding issues that they're steal dealing with. Bridezillas in real life (not the show) are really scary because when your friend acts that way you wonder if you could act that same way too. Weddings became a terrifying experience that revolved around stressed and anger...not really romantic. I had no problem with commitment (still don't) but I figured I could just live in sin and that would be that. problem solved.

Then I fell in love with a wonderful man and enjoyed a beautifully equal and hilarious relationship (we laugh so much more than you and your partner do...kidding...not really). During this time my partner and I discussed marriage many times and both agreed that we didn't want anything traditional. However, these conversations soon turned into my partner expressing his desire to marry for personal reasons and also as a sign of our commitment to each other. We also both love our family and friends so much and wanted a special day for everyone to enjoy and feel love. Together we decided to get married (legally) and to take our engagement and wedding as an occasion for activism. it's so unfair that Aaron and I even have this choice because he was born male and I was born female. We believe all people should have that right. We don't want to pretend that this isn't privilege on our part. it is.

So we're having a wedding that better reflects us with no proposal (instead a joint decision) and no ring (I don't wear diamonds and I don't need my partner to make a down payment on me) and a special day for everyone involved. We want this to be a happy process for everyone (including the man in my bridal party). Some aspects may seem traditional while others may seem crazy and that's just us. We're soooooooo cool! And we want to see everyone able to choose their own wedding or no wedding. Live in sin (sorry, I just love the phrase) or get "legally stapled" no matter who you are or love (even Kim Kardashian).

And most importantly, Aaron and I are more excited about our life together than we are about the wedding. We share a loving, equal, fun, and interesting relationship and I am so happy that we've started our life together. I hope that answers any questions people may or may not have had and I also wish love and happiness to everyone. This process is making me a bit cliche but worse things have happened :)