This week, news broke of reality star Kim Kardashian filing for divorce from NBA star Kris Humphries. Their wedding was extremely public and became a 4 hour special on E!. It was titled "Kim's Fairytale Wedding" and followed Kim as she planned her dream wedding. Viewers definitely turned in before learning about the end of the 72 day marriage. After news of the divorce filings broke, twitter and facebook were inundated with anti woman and heated remarks directed toward Kardashian. Many tweeters wrote about gay marriage and how Kim Kardashian has ruined the Idea of marriage (therefore gay people should marry).
Here's the thing, I am not a "fan" of Kim Kardashian so to speak and I do support gay marriage. However, Kardashian is not the only straight person to get a quick divorce (she's not even the first celebrity).
In an honest letter to fans Kardashian explained (paraphrasing) that she basically had doubts but that she felt pressure to no only GET married but to go through with her publicized wedding (again, I am paraphrasing).
People always wonder about the pressure for women to marry changed? If you ask Kardashian, not so much. How often does a celebrity known for her stereotypical femininity explain this? I don't know if Kardashian identifies as "feminist" but she brings up a feminist point. All the focus was on the wedding and that's something that I personally don't see as "changed". Every wedding I've ever attended has included immense pressure on everyone let alone the particular bride. I'm always saddened by the stress of a wedding, because marriage can be wonderful and rewarding (so can unmatched partnerships and single life). I think women can internalize his pressure to get married and then as a result, brome angry, stressed, and not joyful for the marriage. Women are taught to give up everything to get an engagement ring (including settling or pressuring men to propose) rather than to work toward a healthy, equal partnership (if they choose to have a marriage).
The message to women is "unless you're married, nothing else you do matters". You can even be a crazy liberal feminist ball buster...as long as you're married.
This is what Kardashian describe in her letter to fans. Gay people should legally be allowed to marry not because of Kim Kardashian but because we all deserve that legal right. The real lesson is that an emphasis on the partnership (whatever form that is) has to be more important than a wedding day. Maybe when I have a daughter, her Fairytale will be her dream job, or a best friend, or anything that doesn't involve a diamond ring and Vera Wang (love her clothes still).
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Awesome, and well put. I can certainly relate to feeling under pressure to be married for one reason or another. And in the case of you know who, I wish I had been brave enough to call the thing off and get it anulled right away. That would have saved me a ton of pain, heartache, and money spent on a divorce if I had listened to my gut and not married him or when alarm bells were going off in my head left him early enough to get it anulled. I'm just thankful that I was able to find happiness with my current partner.
ReplyDeleteThanks :). I wrote this on my ipod which caused some autocorrects I missed but the sentiment is the same! I think that pressure to be "nice" and to go along with things is still there for women. Maybe our generation can help change that!
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