Turning 25

For a year I've been preparing myself for this day. Tomorrow on the 21st, I turn 25. At first, it seemed like a new right of passage involving more bills, more responsibility, more boring grown up stuff, etc. However, I slowly learned that 25 is not a normal birthday.

It started when I got engaged (yay) and noticed that a lot of my other friends had already married or were not planning to wait as long as I was (hey, I wanted to wait until 2020). Some people found my 2014 wedding date was odd...not a big deal, right? Then I started to want to have a baby. Also, not a big deal. My partner also started to feel like in our future he would want a child so at least we're on the same page. Here's the thing about thinking you may want a child...I soon recognized all the children that are around me and the ages of my friends. Not a good idea. Some had their kids when they were younger than 25 (not important, we're all different).

After all these crazy thoughts and feelings,I was watching OWN's Masterclass with Jane Fonda and she was explaining the 3 "acts" of our lives. Act 1 is birth to 30, Act 2 is 30 to 60 and Act 3 is 60-whenever your last breath is. She was talking about a time when she was 59 and freaking out about starting her last act and wanting it to matter (my words paraphrasing). This resulted in a total life change (I so love her).

That's when all hell broke loose. Thinking in those terms that 25 is the beginning of the end of my last act is a lot different than saying I'm not quite 30 yet. I started mentioning to friends that 25 has brought up all these thoughts and feelings I didn't know I had, and ironically enough, other women agreed.

Some of my friends who passed 25 shared that they too felt pressure (from all different areas i.e. professional, personal, social, etc.) and that the age was much harder than 26 or 27. I think the issue is that 25 has become some magical number where those of us in our 20s feel we need to have a path. We don't have to know our future but we need a job, a steady boyfriend if not a husband (come on, straight gals)...a steady future of some kind.

Ummmm I know 80 year olds who don't have a "steady" future and thank goodness for that! Shouldn't we all be allowed to throw a wrench in this thing called life whenever we're not on board with the direction? I'm in my 20s and confused but hopeful about the future and that's okay. There's no age where we suddenly figure everything out. My friends who have children already, don't suddenly know what's going to happen every day for the rest of their loves either (kids kind of throw you surprises). We're all following our own path (and friends with babies means I can babysit and play with their kids whenever they need a break).

Wherever we are is okay. This is where we're supposed to be whether it's overcoming a rough patch, loving every minute, etc. It's our own path that no one can take away (woohoo). 25 doesn't mean you need to be married, single, with children, without children, in your career, unemployed, or whatever else you can think of. 25 just is.

For me, 25 feels like the future promise of my nonprofit, a partnership, and some of the best relationships with other women that I've ever had. For you, it might mean being a Karate champ or having your first baby, or finally feeling independent. Whatever it is, it's yours. And I wouldn't trade any of my confusing, frustrating, surprising, depressing, or beautiful moments for anything. Hmmm on second thought I'd like to be a karate champ...