Crotch Shots...What's Up With that?

When did it become a perfectly appropriate thing for the paparazzi to take shots up celebrity women’s dresses when they get out of cars? I know what you’re thinking, “But, Naomi, can’t they get out of a car appropriately?” Have you ever tried to get out of a car gracefully in a dress? First of all, even when I’m wearing a long dress to church, it’s hard to get out of a car like a “lady” (I picture myself drinking tea with the cast of Downton Abbey). I don’t look like Audrey Hepburn even in jeans but a dress can be a difficult thing to work with. Every week there’s a new picture of a famous woman (even Duchess of Cambridge, then Kate Middleton) trying to get out of a car in a fashionable dress. Let me be clear, by “fashionable” I mean impossible to move in. We want to see stars wearing the latest fashion and being “best dressed” but those outfits often mean it’s very difficult to move in or GET OUT OF A LIMO. If a woman says, “Hey, here’s a crotch shot you can take of me, guys. Let’s do this,” then that’s her choice (a strange choice, but a choice). But if someone is getting out of a car why are we taking shots up their skirts and dresses? I don’t see pictures of men’s crotches every time they stretch their legs getting out of cars (note: this is not a suggestion and no one wants to see this). I don’t see men being stuffed into sequined dresses or gowns that require certain or no undergarments (and you try telling Rachel Zoe no to a great Chanel dress). When my friends and I are wearing dresses and getting out of cars sometimes we have to guard the other as we make it out, because even a knee length skirt can go wrong climbing out of a back seat. This is a true story and ladies out there, be a friend and guard a vagina slip. And I don’t even want to think about getting out of a car in my wedding dress…YIKES. Speaking of which, a future sorry to my bridesmaids because they’re not wearing evening gown length. It’s hard enough being a woman do we really need crotch shots now? Do I really need to be this paranoid? Home girl can’t even walk at night in Columbus and now I can’t even drive? Not cool. Some of you may not be swayed and to this I say, if I wear a super cute dress and have trouble getting out of a car, should 5 seconds of time be depicted over and over on the Internet and then define my character and name? Nope. Just like how the time Joe Biden dropped the F bomb shouldn’t define him. That was prettttyyyyy funny though. And despite my humor with this subject, taking sexually explicit pictures of women without their knowledge is kind of a HUGE deal. Despite legal issues, this promotes rape culture. Rape Culture is an environment in which rape is prevalent and in which sexual violence against women is normalized and excused in the media and popular culture. Rape culture is perpetuated through the use of misogynistic language, the objectification of women’s bodies, and the glamorization of sexual violence, thereby creating a society that disregards women’s rights and safety (Marshall University Women’s Center). Sounds about right. These pictures can make us think women getting out of cars and limos deserve to be degraded by taking pictures of their underwear and/or vulvas (the correct term). Those pictures promote viewing women as objects and deserving of degradation. What do we know happens with degrading women and viewing them as objects and not people? Sexual violence. Gee, that wasn’t even that great of a leap. I’ll leave with the words of Anne Hathaway. This is how she answered after Matt Lauer from The Today Show asked her about a photo taken of her getting out of a limo when she wasn’t wearing underwear underneath her dress "It was obviously an unfortunate incident. It kind of made me sad on two accounts. One was that I was very sad that we live in an age when someone takes a picture of another person in a vulnerable moment, and rather than delete it, and do the decent thing, sells it. And I'm sorry that we live in a culture that commodifies the sexuality of unwilling participants. Which brings us back to Les Mis [...] So lets get back to Les Mis."(http://jezebel.com/5967783/anne-hathaway-finds-the-brouhaha-about-her-crotch-shot-sad) Couldn’t have said it better myself, Anne. Also, that Academy Award belonged to you…screw ‘em.

In Honor of Other Women...

I am someone who believes in supporting other women. I think as women we can’t do this enough and with all these Bravo shows (even I watch them as guilty pleasures) and other reality television depicting women as catty or mean to each other, I want to celebrate my friends. She’s going to kill me but Kayti Adams is a great friend and wonderful human being. Kayti and I met in high school (she’s slightly older than I am) when I dated her younger brother (he’s slightly younger than I). We connected a little but after parting my ways with her brother and my high school sweetheart (hi, Robbie), we lost touch. Then, I started this blog with the help of a great friend and mentor (hi, A!) and Kayti was one of the first people to share my blog links and comment on them! Every week she shared her own experiences and encouraged me to continue writing. Pretty soon, we were hanging out again and sharing our own battles with self-esteem. Kayti is a great businesswoman and knows all the ins and outs of creating and maintaining a business, as well as a master with finances. She kept insisting I create a non-profit. God help you if Kayti Adams believes in her heart that you should be doing something because she kept texting me and telling me that I was meant to be working in the non profit world (as she does!). She believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself. One day, because of her persistence, I mentioned working with teen girls. I was volunteering with my church’s youth group at the time and desperately wanted to do more after my own issues with self-esteem as a teenager. I mentioned this idea to Kayti about helping girls with self esteem and she created a non profit out of it. When I wondered what our vision could be, she brain stormed with me and insisted this could be huge. Together we created The Self Worth Project, LLC (now accepting donations, shameless plug). We lead self-esteem workshops for teen girls and then discuss any issues of body image or self-esteem they may be facing. We encourage them to support and encourage each other as young women while they go through these tough times. Kayti Adams gave me my dream. We both have a passion for our non-profit and it’s a passion I never knew we could make a reality until she stepped in. Kayti is a great co founder and CFO but she’s also a great friend. She’s one of the most introspective people I know and she’s always looking to do better. She’s the girl you can laugh or cry with. No matter what she’s there. So in support of women, here’s to you, Kayti. The best co founder, friend, and bridesmaid I know.